Unmarried and Lonely

Some time ago I was at a friend’s house who, in a rare moment of truth, was honest enough to me to admit that she longed to be married. She was in her 50’s and had never been married. Like many singles I know, usually if asked about this she would smile and say she enjoyed being single, found life fulfilling, and was content with her lot. Marriage wasn’t for everyone. But now she was being honest and admitted how lonely she was and wondered why no one had wanted to marry her.

I could have given her a few reasons but chose not to, for I did not feel she would receive what I had to say. I thought I would lose a friend. In retrospect, I believe I was wrong and wish I had spoken honestly. But I kept my mouth shut.

What would I have said? Susan, have you ever listened to yourself? Have you heard how much you criticize others? Have you heard how dictatorial you are when you want someone to do something for you? Have you listened to yourself when you are in a public place and find fault with something about the business? Do you see how lazy you are around the house (and yet go to the gym to work out)? Do you hear yourself? Who would want to spend his life with you constantly in your presence? Not someone you would want.

I have thought of this many times and ultimately these thoughts are the outcome. There will probably be more. I can only hope she will read them and take some of my suggestions to heart. If so, she will probably find that she has more friends and who knows? Maybe someone will like the new her and, yes, fall in love with her and want to spend his life with her.